Voice Actor and Story Development

This week I worked on developing and refining my storyboard. I implemented my tutor and peer feedback and personal opinion to develop cinematic timing, technique and camera work. In preparation for the previz. I hope to complete the previz including sound and dialogue this week.

Character, include ring on finger.

Time of day- autumn, evening. Check lighitng techniques. Test god light. Explain main parts in blog. Essentials to the narrative.

Explain main parts in blog. Essentials to the narrative.

Revisions to the Story and Documents

Script for voice actors and revisions.

I made a script, including only the dialogue, for the voice actor’s reference. Since, the shot list is quite compact, and not as easy on the eyes. Below is the finished script (with some alternative dialogue lines than in my shot list), and some revisions made with the input of peer feedback.

These revisions will be implemented to update the storyboard and shot list, for reference purposes of the previz. The previz will be the last version before the animating begins.

Updated Shot List

Shot list.

I have been working on the refined storyboard throughout this process, applying adjustments and revisions as suggested from the collaborators and peer/tutor feedback.

Animatic

Voice Acting

I found a couple options for voice acting collaborators. The first allowed me to make a rough audio recording which will help the development of my dialogue choices, storyboard development and previz audio.

Male Voice choice 1: Frank Bird. Correct sample/subject however no acting experience.

Male Voice choice 2: Mark Cook, has acting education and experience.

Feedback on Story so far:

  • Unfortunately, I received some harsh feedback saying that the story was not right and the environment should be changed. They said I should even restart my project. They would have preferred that the environment is indoors for the first half. Furthermore, they also mentioned that I should ‘get rid of the dog all together, unless you have a real one. And have the grave in a graveyard rather than in the middle of a forest Also, you need more objects around her grave e.g. floors of the portrait again”. Of course restarting is not an option, however, I was considering changing the environment. I will have to have another run at the storyboard.
  • On the other hand, I have had other positive feedback, through. “I would actually disagree and say the forest environment works really well tonal with the piece. I also think its’s quite achievable within 3D as you only need to make a few different tree assets to make it look full bodied. With the trees I also think you could create some really strong and dynamic lighting to add effect. It’s looking good!”

Based on this contradictory feedback, I have to make up my mind about how to improve the story and setting. I admit that the apple pie in the forest is strange. Even if I try to make it work somehow, I will still will have my audience asking “Why was there a dining table in the m middle of a forest”. I believe that I can make it work better If I have the character spend more time indoors, before he exits to go to the graveyard. Getting rid of the dog leash was always in my area of consideration, and if I have such bad feedback from it from a few people, despite the other positive feedback, it should be left out. I intend to obtain further feedback to gain further opinions, but at this stage, all of my concerns and considerations are being more solidified. I am understanding the appropriate direction and changes needed to improve my project before I move onto the previz. Overall, I want to keep the dialogue as close as possible to what I have now, to limit the amount of changes I need at this point.

Improvements I have in mind about the story order:

  1. The beginning will stay the same up until the front door part. The photo frame could be shown in the corridor, or be on the dining table.
  2. The character can be, in the corridor, getting ready to leave the house out, while talking about remembering the way. Fiddling with keys, getting a flower (think about from where? e.g. exterior garden, flower vase or interior flower pot, already ready flower?).
  3. When discussing the tree root, I could have a shot of the window, looking at a big tree with large roots. Alternatively, I could change the object she tripped over (would need to rerecord the dialogue). Or lastly, I could switch the order of dialogue subjects. The tree root part could come after the ‘I miss your apple pie’ section. If I did this, I would need to reorganise the visuals to make it work.
  4. The ripped shirt section could be done after he exits the house.
  5. Then from there, there would be a smaller forest (trees in the background) section and the graveyard would be right next door. Or I can use a match shot to change locations. The matching visuals could be the a fence and the character location? Transition could be done using an object wipe with a tree or having a high fence that moves past quickly like a train going past? (This needs work).

Further Notes/ thought process:

  • Above all, I need to keep it simple, since I wish to put a lot of effort into character, enviro and performance. So the acting animations can not be too complicated. The story still has to be good though.
  • Then there needs to be more miss-en-scene in the graveyard, around her grave, as well as around the house, especially.
  • I anticipate that I will be switching from IK and FK a lot within the animation. I should practice having a character interact with solid objects when switching between the two.
  • I will have to practice making constrains to use props with the character, this is essential since the character will pick up an interact with the flower.
  • To reorganise my mind, I want to act out the characters movements then make a video out of it. This will help me to understand timing, character though process. As well as, character actions/ movement during the interior beginning especially.
  • I had already decided to repeat symbology of a couple (two objects/things), their romantic connection/ importance, the wife’s favourite flower and the theme that the husband has let things become disordered/ unattended to, since his wife’s death. All of these things, I can have in the background to match the concept and bring context. These require some thought when I am making the environment and character.

Planning movement: Top view map of house

  • The main area the character will move in is the corridor.
  • I can have a shot of the kitchen room, showing the dining table (same room, just has a table). The view could only show the table, but have steam coming from one side as though someone is cooking. Then the objects on the table, e.g. cutlery, apply pie, and the steam will slowly fade as though they are not there in the first place, only a memory. With the view of the the photo frame as well e.g. next to the door, hanging on the wall.

Feedback

  • Suggestion: Keep everything the same except the apple pie shot. Which could be a cut to the kitchen with dining table. The table set up will include, plates, cutlery, tea pots with an apple pie in the centre. Then the protag’s hands bring a vase, with a flower inside, onto where the apple pie is, then the apple pie disappears in a mirage style. The vase is placed through/ in place of the apple pie, so that it shows that it was never there.
  • Test fading apple pie shot.
  • After root dialogue, the shot goes to the apple pie, then protagonists says crispy crust line. Then cam back to charac, and says ‘I miss your apple pie” line.

Personal Notes on the Line changes:

“Yeees, I remember the way. My sieve of a memory will never forget that. I am almost ready, love.”

“Remember our 5th anniversary, you made your apple pie, but tipped and fell flat on your face.

Tap toes/shoes on floor.

Look into room and close door again.

Shuffle sleaves down, keys in pocket?.

Anniversary part. tripped over a cable. See cable+ step over it. Remember our fifth anniversary, (looking down, wave of hand), you made your apple pie, but tripped on the telephone cable (point?) and fell flat on your face (step over with close up). Laugh (back to full shot).

Apple pie. He moves to kitchen door. cam moves to front view of door as he opens it. Then, line about crispy crust. Back to him ” I miss your apple pie”.

Corridor view, close door. Move to front door back view?? Picks up flower and exits house.

Next shot= walking to graveyard. Don’t see graves yet, flowers instead of graves.

Orrrrr, protagonists picks up flower from pot, the flower goes into the camera and the cam match cuts when protagonist puts flower on grave/ in vase at grave.

Fade to black + blurry.

Or the match cut to flower next to grave already. Then he places his flower in the pot/ on the grave.

Then he could say his line and have the wide shot.

Picks up flower from vase by the door.

Rough Altered Story Idea