After consideration for the feedback, I have received and my personal feelings, I decided to change the story somewhat. This page consists of my subsequent alterations and development. The official changes include a new setting which is the house interior: Corridor and kitchen. The story order, narrative events and dialogue have been adjusted to fit the new setting.

Notes:

Rough storyboard of the new version of the story:

Neat Floor Plan

Camera and Character Position with Floor Plan

The next images are depictions a few major camera positions, the main character positions and the 180 degree line. After some consideration for the 180 degree line and mise-en-scene, I decided to split the story into three parts in terms of continuity of camera work.

Script

Shot List

Digital Storyboard

I have received good feedback on this new story, that it was an improvement on the last version. I am very happy with this and shall move on to the previs.

Animatic

Previz

For the previz, I believe using a premade/online rig should suffice. The environment should have the placement accurate and props are essential. I have already started to collect some online assets to use later one, however, I wish to personally model some important elements.

This previs link has been updated with the progress of the actor’s dialogue lines and any music or SFX progress.

Within the previs, I have included the very useful videos that have helped me with the process so far. Since the previs is the stage of essential development that will provide myself and a ‘test’ audience a substantial perspective of the narrative so far. These extra details will allow everyone to give substantial feedback.

Videos included in the previs:

• The animatic.
• Mood changes for the composer to reference.
• My reference footage for the previs poses and this should be the base of the animation e.g. movement and centre of gravity.
• The male voice actor’s video acting the dialogue lines- this will help as a reference for the facial animation at a later stage.

Previs: My improvements

• The fade to white transitions needs work- need to test how to render only single objects without a background. Or I can add a greenscreen background behind the object and then take it away in postproduction. I believe this will be made easier with Maya layers, however, I am uncertain about the background since in my previous experience it has always been white or a similar colour to the visible object.
  • On second thought having a fade to white is with specific object excluded is exessive when thinking about the mass of cinematic elements I wish to include already. For the save of time constraints and simplicity, this technique is the least that I should omit from my project.
• The end shot may look better if it pans up or down. E.g. first at the character, then focussing on the flower after panning down.
• I want to remake the cameras, so that they cut to the next shot with less cameras using blocking/step animation. I should also use a better rig as the previous one was difficult to use.
• The transition from looking at the photo frames to the kitchen needs work, I think that I should have the camera move over the shoulder of the character rather than under the arm.
• The kitchen shots should be on the left side of the screen. While making the ‘putting down the vase to replace the apple pie’ shot in the previs, the angle where the arms came in was really messy. I need to move the apple pie to the left side of the screen, have the camera angled diagonally (with the perspective lines from the bottom right to the upper left).
• I need to work on my soft focus shifting. I was not able to make this work in the last project and had to do it in post-op, however, for this project, I really want to achieve focus shifts in the render.
• The dancing at the start could be shorter.
• Certain actions need longer pauses to show what they are doing e.g when Grace clears her throat and Graham stops dancing. Or when he looks at the vase behind him- it is too short.
• The shots concerning the dialogue line “I wish I could have grown old with you” should have more time for and around them.

Thoughts about footsteps timing:

First half= 65 BMP. 0.9s=21f.

Second half (slower)=50 BMP. 1.2s=28f.

In retrospective, it would be more efficient for me to follow the reference footage where I have acted out the entire animation.

Previs Feedback From Others

• The camera movements work quite well.
• Very cinematic.
• Good environment layout.
• The CU flower transition change of location is clear and understandable.
• Make sure that the dancing part works.

Chosen Flower Type

I researched the meanings of flowers to understand in greater detail the traditional meanings of flowers, in order to utilise the flower’s symbology in subtext.

To conclude, I chose the forget-me-not flowers, for a number of reasons. Although the size is not ideal, I can adjust this easily. The colour scheme fits with my own perfectly, and their overall aesthetic is eye catching and beautiful. The meaning of the flowers if perfect for my intended effects, not to mention the name. If any of the audience immediately know what the flower species is, they will say the phrase ‘forget me not’, a great result for me.

Voice Acting Direction Changes

After appling the voice actor’s (Mark) rough dialogue lines to the previs, I can see more clearly where changes need to be made. My feedback on the video he sent me includes the following comments:

My comments on his acting performance:

00:02 – This should be a bit quicker. The character was focussed on an action and stopped abruptly. He is a bit and surprised and embarrassed, acknowledging that he was doing something more important and got distracted.

00:08 – Could you do a few variations of this, please. Try change the tone. Not as though he is responding to nagging (that’s how it feels now) but try it as though to say that she doesn’t need to worry. Duration for this line: max 3.5s. Shorten the pause to 0.5s or no pause at all. Volume
should be increased for this one. Less soft.

00:15 – This sounds perfect. 😀 No need to redo this.

00:19 – The accent is most noticeable here, could you please change the accent to something less rough. The way that you did the laugh was great. The start and end felt very natural. However, it will have to be a bit shorter. Timing: Max 8s for the text (can stretch it to 9/10 if required). Extra 3 for the laughing. Almost no pause in-between.

00:39 – Accent change please. Nice line, I would like more variations of this, please. I like how you put the emphasis, good job. Increase volume a bit more.

00:56 – “That’s it”- meaning of the line has been misunderstood here. It described how the that was the last flower. So the emphasis should be on the word “it”. Duration: 3-4smax. Timing: “That’s it” (0.5s pause) “my love” (1 second pause) “the last one”. Way of speaking: “That’s’ it, my love.”=
Softly and slower. “The last one”= sense of finality. There is also comfort of from the closure.

01:06 – Can you do a few variations of this line, please. This line could be said more impactfully. Also, if any, the word with the most emphasis in the sentence is ‘wish’. Perhaps also ‘old’? Duration: try 3s. Slow the speed a little. Rough suggestion for timing: “I wish” (slight pause) “I could have…”

01:16 – Please refer to the notes on the word.doc I sent for this line. Please try a few variations of this one. Not sure if it sounds correct right now. Perhaps as thought the character is trying to sounds more positive e.g. the tone in which you end the sentence.

In addition to this, I have given Mark a good reference concerning the part where the character crys a little, this being the animation ‘Borrowed Time’. Here is the film link:

The comments for the actor included:

05:02-05:35 – This crying part is a good reference. This should be simplified though. Appropriate timing = 4.5 s max for the start (deep breathing prelude) – 6s max for the crying middle – 6 secs for the big sigh, calming down, head back.

05:09-05:16 – Concentrate on this part. Then, add a few deep breaths before and a big sigh afterwards and we are a go.

Extras

Fade to White

Considering the visual transitions of certain parts in my animation I thought that I could include a ‘fade to white’ except one object in two specific areas. The first being the move between the corridor to the kitchen, since this may get messy with the character’s position in relation to the camera, and my indented kitchen shot angle may be obscured. In this instance only the character and the vase prop would remain visible. he second occurrence of this transition would be at the end of the animation. When the character walks away, down the corridor, to increase the cinematic effect, the vase that is in

Depth of Field

I must experiment with this. In my last project, the depth of field did not work, and I had to add a soft focus in post-production. I consider this a failure, considering the different in potential effect.

Apple Pie Disappearance

Still need to test this part or figure out how to do it… Could the object on the table simply change from one shot to another?

Credits

This is a very unessential extra, however, I found another cinematic aspect which I can improve my animation with. Inspiration from the credits from the anime ‘To Your Eternity’. Using a simple but beautiful spot light set ups I can make simple still images for the credits. This shouldn’t take too long, and I can make three point lighting set up in a new scene to reuse and edit individually on top of, which should make everything quick and easy. Here is a screen recording of the credits sequence, since I could not find it on Youtube:

Within the anime ‘To Your Eternity’, as far as I can see the lighting they have used (or how I can recreate it in Maya) is an point light as the main light source, a fill light on the side and a spotlight with light scattering applied. Light scattering is when you can visibly see the light and dust particles in the air instead of only on the model. I can certainly replicate this, however using light scattering would take more time. Although I love the effect that the technique produces, I need to think of the time constrains for something completely unnecessary (this whole credits idea). On second thought, if I collaborated with another person on this, then I could simply ask them to complete the credits sequence with my assets. In addition to this, I could use this for my graduation show which would be perfect and simple.

Benefits to this method (as can be seen in the anime):

1. Exaggerate important parts of the narrative= nostalgia of memories, precious objects, strong feels towards them etc.
2. Increase cinematic feeling.
3. Increase quality of the film- well rounded.

Name

I have taken a heavy but passive process of development for the title of my animation. Taking consideration for this element and its impact during the story making process. A films name and theme subject has a strong impact and relevance to how an audience perceive the film. Habitually, I thought about this and naturally noted each idea, eventually producing a large list of options. The contents of the list are below, they include subject ideas as well as final title options.

FMP Title Names Ideas

Important factors to consider include the narrative theme and main mise-en-scene subjects (e.g. actors or props used):

• Flowers: ‘Forget me nots’.
• Photo frames.
• Apple pie.
• Grace and Graham.
• Couple symbology e.g. birds. Husband and wife.

I decided that the title should commit to this check list for the sake of relevance to the production:

• Positive connotations if any- the story is about him moving on, so can’t be too depressing- it is about their precious life together not just her death and his loss.
• Connotation/ iconography from my animation.